Grief Help you can count on: The Grief Recovery Method®
Learners get support with grief one step at a time, starting with unlearning the conventional-not-helpful "tips" when it comes to grief and loss.
Learners address the things they wished had been said or done differently or better or more. You can learn a method that frees you up from the unresolved grief that weighs you down.
Learners resolve the unmet, unrequited hopes, dreams and expectations that hang heavy and rent-free in your mind. This too is unresolved grief that you can learn your way out of.
Learners learn the method once, apply and repeat whenever the emotions of loss and change need personal compassionate attention.
Grief Help à la Grief Recovery Method® – Feedback from Learners
"Grief recovery is a constructive series of actions that allows you to work through the emotional pain of grieving, rather than become stuck in an old frame of mind. It’s a gradual change and letting go of old thought patterns or habits related to our grief. It’s about being able to express what’s in our heart and let go of things that could be holding us back from living our life for today."
"To me, understanding the ineffective means by which we were taught (usually by example) how to grieve throughout our lifetime as well as how people around us deal (or don't) with our grief was a major aha moment! Well worth the time and effort. One must be ready to ask oneself real questions and give real answers. This process is thorough, real, and tough."
"I think it has made me more comfortable dealing with grief, whether it be mine or others. The sharing in small groups has definitely given me much strength in the « just listen » tool. I now even use it on myself … I just listen to the words I have when expressing grief without judgement or intervention in my train of thought."
Grief support looks like:
Private Training for one or two individuals. Occurs as soon as you like at mutually convenient times. 10 weekly sessions 60-90 minutes each via Zoom.
Group Training for 3 to 6 people. 10 weekly sessions at a mutually convenient time. 2 hrs each via Zoom.
Grief Recovery Method® Graduate have an option to apply the method on another relationship that has been giving them grief, with personal guidance and accompaniment. 1 hr weekly for 3 weeks via Zoom.
Learners complete a reading and a writing assignment in between weekly sessions, about 1-2 hrs of personal attention.
About CMA
- I’m a personal growth and development nerd through and through, because to me being the change we wish to see in the world starts from the inside out / insight out. I’ve facilitated peer-supported learning and collaborative knowledge creation groups for multinational companies, non-profits, and municipalities in three continents.
- I’m into road trips and Redwoods (especially along the Pacific Coast Highway). I appreciate preserving herbal healing and folk remedies, dance and meditative movement (Gaga and 5Rhythms! Qi Gong! YAY!), books and learning circles (yup! even in my spare time), percussion, weaving and other creative/crafty pursuits.
- I am into learning, unlearning, and relearning to grow into my continuously evolving self. I lead by example. As a certified Grief Recovery Specialist I have applied and continue to apply the method on whatever “new” thing gives me grief.
Nearly everyone knows that the first marriage divorce rate hovers somewhere around 50%. The vast majority of those marriages are to someone other than our first love, which means that we may have dragged some of the unfinished emotional baggage from that relationship into our eventual marriage.
We must grieve and complete our relationships to the person who died, or to the marriage or romance that ended. Until and unless we do that, we are doomed to drag the past into our present and thereby sabotage our future.
~Myths of Grief by the Grief Recovery Institute
CMA’s Grief Story
My life’s journey has had a generous helping of grief over the years.
Grief is the emotional response to loss or a change or an end to familiar patterns. I have changed my home address 27 times across four continents. Sometimes loss brings a gain (this is an appreciation that took a while to blossom). With every move, I lost my comfort zone and sense of belonging while gaining friends and adventures.
For years I was none the wiser about grief and loss, thinking time would heal the wounds, and if I said “I’m fine” often enough, it would one day become the truth (it doesn’t work!). I hadn’t grieved my first love. I didn’t process the emotional baggage of a failed marriage. I stuffed the mass of emotions. Everyone around me seemed to reinforce the notion it was better to pretend it had never happened.
The thing is, I didn’t realize that that unresolved grief was giving me grief! The Grief Recovery Handbook explains it this way:
“Divorce (or a broken romantic relationship) produces grief. This can become a life-limiting reality that negatively affects future relationships. Incomplete grief over a former [partner] will dictate fearful choices. Incomplete grief will create hypervigilant self-protection from further emotional pain. Sadly, this excess of caution limits the ability to be open, trusting, and loving, dooming the next relationship to failure.”
While I carried loads of unresolved grief, I did much searching for someone or something to make me feel good and feel better. I bypassed my emotional pain with things (substances, food, sleep, books, movies, learning and and and …) and replaced my losses with new partners and home addresses and jobs and got busy with a brand-new life hoping for brand new outcomes (again pining fir a bottomless mug of dreams come true FINALLY PLEASE!). My behaviors were an attempt to ignore the need to face the unresolved and accumulated grief weighing me down because I was afraid that if I opened up to it, I’d suffer even more if I opened my Pandora’s box of stuffed feelings and undelivered communications.
My life was altered in a huge way when my Mom died. An opportunity to take The Grief Recovery Method appeared before me, thanks to Hospice of the Foothills in Nevada County, CA. I had no idea unresolved grief made my life’s journey a total slog. The course guided me step-by-step to shed some light on what’s happening inside me, see my pains of loss, and honor what my emotions were telling me. I lightened up from the burdens I’d been carrying, and I reclaimed a zest for life I hadn’t enjoyed for a long time. My life changed for the way better, so I became certified to share this work with you and yours!
I took a chance at feeling better by trying The Grief Recovery Method®, step by step, choice by choice, and it invited me to “in lighten up from the insight out,” and I discovered “good grief rocks.” The Grief Recovery Method® is a simple (not easy) field guide to trek through the darkness of grief to the bearable lightness of relief. Learn once, repeat when necessary. A true life skill.
For the last four years, I have been teaching the Grief Recovery Method® to individuals and groups both online (so you can be based anywhere!) and in and around Santa Cruz County, California. If you are a keen student of your Self, allow me to teach you how to feel better as you process the emotional weight of loss and change.
CMA as Guide, in Learners’ Words
- “I thought that CMA mastered the approach with ease, empathy, and knowledge. The atmosphere created allowed for comfort and trust in delivering my individual grief experiences.”
- “CMA did a great job explaining, introducing the concepts, and fielding the questions and ideas raised.”
- “Overall, I think this is a fantastic course/process that anyone going through or struggling with any kind of grief should consider. That’s pretty much everyone on the planet! CMA was professional, caring and truly created a safe and comfortable space for us all to learn, share, and grow.”
- “CMA has a special way of communicating and sharing her knowledge. Everything was done with so much respect, love and truth!”
About You, Potential Life Skill Learner of The Grief Recovery Method®
You are wanting to move beyond the discomfort of hanging on to your significant emotional losses and are ready and /or willing to take action.
Taking the actions that lead to recovery will require your attention, open-mindedness, willingness, and courage - and you are good to go with this.
You are curious to work with a well-defined evidence-based process, from beginning to end.
You realize your efforts and commitment relate to the results you’ll gain.
You know that although change may not be easy, it is definitely worth the effort.
Recovering from Grief means:
- feeling better emotionally, mentally, and maybe even physically!
- claiming your circumstances instead of your circumstances claiming you and your happiness
- finding new meaning for living without the fear of being hurt again
- being able to enjoy fond memories without having them precipitate painful feelings of regret or remorse
- acknowledging that it is perfectly all right to feel (feeling is healing!) and to talk about those feelings no matter how those around you react
The skills of Grief Recovery will heal the emotional weight of heart-broken-ness from loss and change and
in turn will allow you to participate 100 percent in all your relationships.
~ The Grief Recovery Handbook