NPR’s StoryCorps episode aired on Weekend Edition Saturday August 28, 2021 features a mother/son discuss the death of their son/brother.
Mom asks “If there was anything you could tell him now what would you tell him?”
and the son/brother responds
there was an opportunity at his funeral to provide words to be spoken
but I wasn’t able to come up with what was really important
I thought about it for years and the thing that I would say instead was
there were times when I thought of Nathan as less than me and that I was wrong
there were times when I thought and even said to him that he would never amount to anything, and I was wrong
everything he wanted to do was important and meaningful
Mom adds that had the brothers “been given the time you guys you would have had a chance to say everything you wanted.”
Suffering from grief is largely based on all the things we wished we could have said differently, better or more. Because we haven’t said them, we find it hard to let go of the pain.
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